Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Famous Amos = SIN
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Public Service Announcement
In light of our ongoing conflict regarding my status as an alleged "covers stealer", I assert that one cannot steal what one already owns. Please see the below illustration, and henceforth refrain from whining, nagging, and/or otherwise complaining about the situation. Thank you.
Because I can't help myself...
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I love me some Wii!
So, instead, I have to hit the highlights fast and hard, as usual. First up:
GET OUT OF MY FAT JEANS
Drum roll ya’ll…….. I have lost 5 pounds! Woo-hoo! Well, technically, 4.8, but who’s counting? This is since Epiphany Day at Mama’s house three weeks ago, when I stepped on the scale and it screamed. I have to admit that the addition of a Wii Fit to our family has definitely helped – it even keeps track of my weight and goals, which is fab-U-lous! I have input my goal as losing 10 pounds in two months. I have to lose 1.3 pounds per week in order to achieve it – we’ll see how I do. (I’m still doing the egg thing too Ches!)
Weekend With Mi Madre y’ Padrasto
(That’s mama and step-daddy for those of ya’ll who aren’t trying to teach your kid Spanish as a second language. Ole’!)
We go to God’s Country on a pretty regular basis, but this past weekend it was to remember my little brother Ryan, who we lost four years ago. It is always wonderful to be together as a family in remembering Ry, and even more so now that there are two little boys, (with identical personalities to my brother and I), to chase around. On Saturday BabyDaddy and Grampa J headed out to the lake for a day of fishing and Mom and I took the ragamuffin boys out letterboxing. One letterbox was in a great park – the boys laughed and chased each other around while Mom and I kept the peace. It’s just like when I was little: the Muffin, (Mini-me), starts the trouble. “Hey! Wet’s pway in da mud! Wet’s chase the cat! Wanna pway shoot em’ guns?” Poor Kelt, (Mini-Ry), just tries to stay out of his way. The best part of the day was getting to use the Ryan stamp for the first time. After we all got into this letterboxing business, I found a gentleman who carves custom stamps. I had him carve a stamp with Ryan and his dog - planning to give it to Mom for Mother’s Day – but I thought this was a better occasion. Kelt got to do the honors for the first use of his daddy’s stamp. It was a cool moment. Sunday after church was spent on the farm. Grampa J let Lil’ C help with his minnow traps and we visited the neighbors and their new baby goat. All was well until right before we left for home. BD had the bright idea of leaving his keys in the truck, along with our mischievous dogs. Not so smart. We came out to find them securely locked in, digging through the Muffin’s back pack for snacks. Of course, BabyDaddy insisted that we not call anyone, preferring to employ the coat hanger tactic – he was not successful. Finally, at the brink of accepting failure, BD went over to the passenger side and asked the magic question, “Hey guys, want a treat?” Both dogs bounded over the center console and jumped to the door, hitting the unlock button square in the middle. Crisis averted.
Free Movie Wednesday
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Free RedBox Movie Wednesday
Today's code is: GTL456
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Ring of Fire (In my head!)
High School
Monday, March 16, 2009
Tennis and ho's.....
Sunday was good too -- the usual morning routine -- church, followed by Cracker Barrel. Then the Muffin and I had to spiffy up and head out to the baby shower for the newest pint in the Family S. It was in the Fellowship Hall of their church, and Lil' C was good on the whole... if you take out that little bit where he started to play, "Hewow there ladies and gent-el-mens, hewow there ladies and gents! Are you weady to ROCK? Are you weady to ROCK?" on the church organ. Thank goodness it was electric and turned off. (Reputation saved. No demon child here!)
Today was bearable. The normal Monday I-can-barely-keep-my-eyes-open-where-the-heck-is-my-coffee-crap-I-forgot-to-leave-my-trash-out-and-now-my-office-smells-like-weekend-old-spaghettios stuff. The good thing is that we finally got a Wii! And the even better thing is that I kicked BD's butt at tennis. Yay ME! Yeah, I got so sick of buying, trying, and returning bedding sets, I said forget it! Let's just spend all our bedding money and then some on a gaming system that we totally don't need!! How's that for smart? But, I will say that I am sure it is going to be a good thing for project GET OUT OF MY FAT JEANS. After Lil' C went to bed tonight, we played until we were ready to fall over. Much better than Fat Busting Latin Dance.
On a much less chipper note, as a few of my friends can attest, I have been lamenting the fact that BabyDaddy finally crawled out of his technological cave and decided to get a Facebook. I was hoping that he would stay pure and virtuous forever. But alas, he started his account on Friday, and it has been an ongoing issue ever since. Who knew there were so many trashy girls in our area? Well, apparently BD went to high school with ALL OF THEM. (To those of you who I know and love and who have friended BD, fear not, I'm not throwing you into Club Ho-Bag.) I really considered stealing some pictures to post, just to show you the sort of material we're dealing with here, but then I thought better of it. That would NOT be nice. So, I've decided I'll just smack talk them anonymously here on Planet Me. So slut-muffins beware! I. Am. Watching. Have a nice night now ya'll!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
The Rumba.......or not.
My pants are feeling the tiniest bit loose. Not anything really noticeable mind you, but loose just the same. (I am considering it perfectly acceptable to condone hallucinations, if they are moving me in a positive direction.) I have been moving every day, and in a fit of zealous abandon, I bought an exercise DVD last night at Wal-Mart. I figured I deserved it. Heck, I've been doing it the old school way every day for over a week now - plus, I had just returned the second set of new bedding that I had taken home, put on the bed, and rejected. I usually get discouraged when my shopping is not successful. The way I see it, a new work-out DVD is much better than the pint of Ben & Jerry's I was eyeballing. So, I came home with FAT BUSTING LATIN DANCE- Guaranteed to slim you up and get you ready for the dance floor!
Note to self: I am NOT a Latin Dancer. Nor will I ever be a Latin Dancer. Even the Muffin couldn't handle it. ("What you doin' Ma? You look veeeeewy funny!" And here I am huffing and puffing, One TWO Cha-cha-cha. Three FOUR Cha-cha-cha.) About 15 minutes into our half hour work out, Lil' C and I threw caution to the wind and just danced it out. Even if I couldn't do the samba, that music sure lends itself to some interesting grooving. I taught the Muffin how to do the Running Man and the Sprinkler. I ended up breaking a sweat, which in the grand scheme of things, is the point, so I'd say the morning was a success. However, I believe I'm going to go back to some good ol' Billy Blanks Tae-Bo. I could actually keep up with him. Besides, it's nice to feel like I'm learning some moves that could be useful. If BabyDaddy acts up, I can just judo-chop him in the throat.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Lucky You! You're the winner of a brand-spanking new novel! (I went a bit overboard with this post...)
And following closely on the heels of this wonderful, wonderful day.....
Sunday: The Day I Shouldn't Have Gotten Out of Bed
BabyDaddy left us to go save the world bright and early Sunday morning, so I had to get up and get the Muffin and I to church by myself. Since we set our clocks up an hour, we didn't make it to the early service, which is the one we normally attend. I knew it was going to be an issue as soon as I attempted to drop Lil' C off in at the nursery. The 2-year-old class that he is normally in during the early service usually has about 6 to 10 kiddos and 2 nursery workers. This class had like 25 kids and 4 nursery workers, none of which we knew. The Muffin started digging in his heels even before we got half-way in the room. My usual instructions are "Just grab him up and love on him some", and that usually works. It seemed to this time as well. I stayed long enough to make sure the wailing had stopped, and the after a quick peek in to see the worker and the Muffin watching cars out the window, I snuck off to find myself a seat in the sanctuary. To give them credit, we had the chance to make it through one song before the Muffin's number popped up on the screen. I found him sitting with his backpack and sippy cup as close to the door as he could get, with his bottom lip pooched out so far he could have swallowed his face like that old guy at Ripley's Believe it or Not. (FIT #1 - Keep track now, there will be several.) Sighing, I gathered him up and headed out to the car. We did a quick McD's drive through for a large coffee for myself, and some apple dippers for the kiddo, then we headed over to the FD to see BabyDaddy and let the Muffin play. Thinking that I could finally spend my birthday money, we went to Kohl's next. MISTAKE. Oh, it all started out fine and dandy. Lil' C stayed close, came when I asked, and generally behaved well. I was trying on some clothes in the dressing room (Lil' C crawled under the door and I had to chase him down in my skivvies and one shoe, but that was minor compared to the events following), when I noticed "THE FACE". All Mommies should know what I mean when I say, "THE FACE". It is quite often seen paired with "THE GRUNT", and is usually foretelling of a small nuclear explosion in a child's pants. Great. Just swell. Thankfully, I had pretty much tried on everything I needed to, so we made a beeline for the registers to check out. There was one tweeny-looking boy working the registers, but there was only a single couple in front of me. "I'm fine," I think. "I'm totally going to be fine." The couple in front of me happened to be arguing the prices on some items along with applying for a Kohl's card. The minutes draaaaaged on. Finally, another tweeny with too-tight pants opened up another register, which I ran to like a drink of water on a hot day. By this time, the Muffin is squirming and pulling at my hand. I pick him up--and feel an unfortunately warm wet patch start spreading down my arm . I had three forms of payment. Birthday Cash. Birthday Pre-paid Visa. Debit Card. Tweeny-boy takes the cash, swipes the Visa, and then tells me my debit card won't go. (Begin FIT #2) Since it's also a 'Visa', you apparently can't use two Visa's on a single transaction. (Would've been nice to know in the beginning hot shot.) So he uses the Visa to buy a Kohl's gift card and proceeds to check me out all over again. I set the Muffin down to sign and get my receipt - and then he's gone. Just like that. Poof. In the span of about three seconds, my stomach hit the cheap tile, I stopped breathing, and I turned in time to see a flash of Sponge Bob shirt headed out the door into the parking lot. I dropped my purse, the contents exploding out onto the floor like someone had shattered glass, and I ran. Lil' C turned back to the doors once he was actually outside, I think realizing that he had messed up, but then when he saw me running toward him, I saw this huge smile crack his face as he turns again to run out into the street. HethinksitsagameHethinksitsagame. It was all I could think - he loves for me to chase him, and he was going "play chase" right out into the street. Thankfully, I caught him by the shirt sleeve before he made it off the sidewalk. And if you don't think that's enough for one day, after we made it home, got cleaned up, and had a nap, my crazy butt took him out AGAIN to Wal-Mart, because we needed groceries. (Cue FIT #3, #4, and #5.) I finally made it home, and both the Muffin and I collapsed in a heap and didn't move until Monday morning.
And last but not least:
Monday - The Day I Decided That Cute Shoes Are Not Worth Having My Feet Amputated
In my traumatic foray to Kohl's, I found the cutest pair of Vera Wang ballet flats. They were beautiful. They fit. AND THEY WERE ON CLEARANCE. So I threw them in the cart. I wore them on Tuesday and strutted into my office just like I was the spiciest thing on two ballet-shod feet. It started at about 8:30 with a, "Hmm, these pinch my toes a little bit..." This was shortly followed at 9am by "Wow, I feel like I'm getting blisters on my heels!" At 11am, my feet were screaming in protest. By 2pm, I had decided that it wasn't worth getting bloody blisters, which would lead to sepsis, which would lead to messy amputations with no anesthetic and a rusty hatchet, (okay, so I watched a civil war movie on cable the other day - sue me for being dramatic). I kicked off those bad boys, and went hippie for the rest of the day. So it is with great sadness that I am bidding goodbye to best looking and worst fitting shoes I have purchased in a while. **Sniff** Anyone out there a brave size 6 who thinks beauty matters more than comfort??
Free RedBox Movie Wednesday
More blogging later- I swear! I fully intended to get to work last night, but then I fell asleep with the muffin on the couch at 8:30pm. (I'll have you know that it was due to the 25 minute power walk around our neighborhood pushing Lil' C' on his trike, followed by a trip to the park for duck feeding and chase-the-Muffin-around-the-playground time.) All for the love of my current project, GET OUT OF MY FAT JEANS. So here's a quick preview of what's coming up this evening:
Saturday - The Day Everyone Should Have Had
Sunday - The Day I Should Have Never Gotten Out of Bed
Monday - The Day I Decided That Cute Shoes Are Not Worth Having My Feet Amputated
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Tatiana - Please. Go. Away.
Coming soon -- A segment entitled "Getting out of my Fat Jeans". It all hit the fan when I started realizing how I hated to look at recent pictures of myself. I have decided that the time is now; my kid is two years old and it is WAY past time to finish loosing the 'used-to-be-baby-but-now-it's-just-lazy' weight. In the days of yon, I used to either stop eating, take diet pills, or both. Not so much the healthiest way to lose or maintain your body, but it worked, and it worked fast. (And without me having to exercise, mind you, which was usually the point.) I am unfortunately older, and fortunately wiser, and so I'm setting about this a little more realistically. Instead of creating some totally outlandish extreme dieting/3-a-week spinning classes/expensive personal trainer plan, my goals for the beginning stages are simple. 1) Eat better. (AKA, no more 'grazing', late night cheesecake baking, obscene amounts of carbs.) 2) Engage in some sort of physical activity every day. That can be a 20 minute walk, or crunches or Pilates during commercial breaks. So, there you have it. And please realize, my lovelies, that with great power comes great responsibility. You are my accountability partners. I expect constructive, firm comments when I stray from the plan. That is your job. My job is to remain as truthful as possible without completely humiliating myself. Let us begin.
GETTING OUT OF MY FAT JEANS:
Day before yesterday: Walked for 20 minutes on the treadmill at work during my lunch break. 10 reverse push-ups with exercise ball.
Yesterday: Pushed the Muffin (on his 'parent controlled' tricycle, which he thinks is splendid) around the neighborhood for 30 minutes. 50 crunches on exercise ball.
Today: 50 crunches on my exercise ball, 20 obliques, 15 reverse push-ups.
Yay me! 3 days....is it a habit yet? Not so much, but that's the trick - see, now that I've told you, I have to keep doing it. It's the psychology behind the thing. Let's just hope it works.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Free Movie!
March 4th Free Movie Wednesday Code*
Stop by a redbox near you and enter code: 75EA16
Make sure to check back every Wednesday for the next promo code!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Ev'erbody loves a redneck gal...
We had a lovely weekend in God's Country, even if we didn't really get to letterbox-- apologies to my Canadian cousin for the dirty, nasty weather - I'm sure that you get quite enough of that up north, but hey - you know how we roll here, 60 degrees one moment, negative 15 the next. Whatcha gonna do..... However, we did get to spend some QT time together, which is always nice. And CC did get in one quick letterbox. Although it was not the experience I had planned for her, I imagine it will have to do in a pinch. And that Mr. T -- what a tiny little dreamboat!
I'm happy to announce that another of my FAVORITE PEOPLE, (they are THAT important -- they get the ALL CAPS treatment), has been baptised into blogdom. Welcome Jess! Ahem, I mean 'Dimpled Darlin'. I will anticipate lots of good reading material. Hey, what are you doing reading this anyway? Go produce some creative genius!
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Weekend plans are already in the works. I found myself in one of those must-get-away moods, and in looking at some facebook pics of a friend, (thanks for the inspiration M), we decided to trek to Indianapolis for a visit to the largest children's museum in the world. I am totally pumped, but completely stressed about finding a decent hotel with an indoor pool for the Muffin that won't take a second mortgage to pay for. Cross your fingers for me -- think big pool, little price, no hair in the drains, and a continental breakfast.
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To wrap it all up for the evening, so that I can devote my undivided attention to American Idol - which is on like every night this week - I will leave you with some quick recommendations:
First, I took advantage of my free Monday night Redbox rental code to rent 'The Secret Life of Bees'. I had read the book but never gotten around to seeing the movie. You. Should. Watch. I'll leave it at that.
Second -- 'You Spin Me Right Round'. Put this on your iPod. And no Mom, not the version by that old guy from the 80's. Flo-rida. (Yes Mom, that's pronounced FLOW--RIDE--AH). It is the most versatile song, lending itself well to many activities, including treadmill walking/stumbling, which I have been partaking of recently, house cleaning, which I don't do much at all, and most especially, Club Corolla. Do I feel a bootie dance comin' on? I think I doooooooo!
Listen, bob your head, and thank me for bringing this musical brilliance into your ear canals.