Monday, December 8, 2008

This is why it's frustrating to be a (relatively) new, young, non-celebrity mommy.....



Please see Exhibit A (Above Left), and Exhibit B (Above Right). The original raw picture is at left, and the picture that was actually published is on the right. Granted, Jessica Alba is not the ugliest gal on the block, and is in completely fabulous shape after giving birth 6 months ago, but even then -- they airbrushed her hips away, gave her a shimmery St. Tropez tan, slimmed her legs and arms, and did you notice her boobs are like three inches higher? How are the rest of us 'average' schmucks supposed to compete with that?! (Not that I am - trust me, I am not delusional. I understand that I am not even in the nosebleed section of the same ballpark with Jessica Alba, but it's the point darn it.)
I WANT TO HAVE LOTS OF MONEY TO HIRE MY OWN PERSONAL NUTRITIONIST TO MAKE MY FOOD, AND A PERSONAL TRAINER TO MAKE ME SKINNY, AND A PERSONAL SHOPPER TO BUY CLOTHES THAT MAKE ME LOOK SKINNY, AND A PERSONAL STYLIST SO I HAVE CRAZY BOMB HAIR, AND AN ASSISTANT TO SCHEDULE IT ALL.
And so I say, for all of us (relatively) new, young mothers -- is the above too much to ask really?






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