Welcome to the fam!

Yesterday, the Baby-Daddy and I became the proud parents of a new TRAILBLAZER! We finally found something we could both agree on, and then we finally found a car salesman who would meet my crazy demands! (Not for lack of fighting however.) I've decided that BD and I are the best car-buying team in the history of the Universe.

We totally played on the 'good-cop/bad-com' bit, (I got the honor of being "the witch whom no one can please". BD had NO trouble making that believable...) and we got our truck! A few snippets from our very long, but profitable evening:

Car Salesman: I can get it down to $XXX. That's only
$50 away from what you wanted!

ME: Go fish. (This followed by a "You just can't do
anything with her" shrug from BabyDaddy)

***5 minutes later***

Car Salesman: All-righty folks, if you're willing to put
$500 down, I can't get your payments to $XXX. That's just $30 away!

Baby Daddy: That's a pretty good deal Meg. Whaddya
think?

ME: For that price, you can give me that Escalade out in
the lot. (Lot's of eye-rolling from BD.)

***Twenty Minutes Later***

Car Salesman: Whew! You sure drive a hard
bargain! Okay, I'll let you take it off the lot for $200 down, and your
payments would be $XXX. That's just $10 away from what you want.
That's like a Tombstone Pizza!

ME: Better your Tombstone than mine. I want it on
the road with nothing down, and I want you to take off the $10.

**An "Is this girl for real?!" look passes between BD and the
salesman**

***10 Minutes Later***

Car Salesman (sighing in exasperation): Final offer. Nothing
down, on the road for $XXX. That's five dollars more than what you
originally wanted.

ME: Guess you worked hard enough for those five dollars.
We'll take it. Where are the keys?

Now, the really hilarious thing, which my bff AS will be happy to corroborate, is that a freaking forty-year-old man going door-to-door pretending to be a girl-scout could easily sell me $150 in molded newspapers. No joke. So my performance at the car lot was indeed quite miraculous. As we pulled off the lot, and I snuggled down into the heated leather seats, (Never you mind that this is April, I LOVE those things!), the BabyDaddy flashed me his most pleased smile and said, "From now on, you handle the cars, and I'll handle the magazine salesmen". "All right," I said, and then we gave each other a high-five.

WTH?? Michael Johns gets kicked off?! Are you kidding?!

Are you kidding me? Kristy Lee Cook has made it through AGAIN??!!! Crap, she wasn't even in the bottom three!!! You've GOT to be kidding me!! Even Syeshia is safe! The freaking voters must have all been in the bathroom last night! (How's that for like thirty-seven exclamation points in three sentences?!) I'm a bit bothered by the choice, but only because Syeshia was supposed to go this week . Then, that ridiculous Kristy Lee, THEN Michael Johns. This totally blew my AI bracket!!!

On a lighter note. I wore a skirt to work today. As I walked out the door to get in my car this morning, the Baby-Daddy said, "Hey hun -- are those your legs, or are you ridin' a chicken?" (Yuk-yuk). What a ham. It was at that point that the day began to head alarmingly downhill. I felt terribly self-conscious all day. Is it totally necessary that I look like I've spent the last week frying myself silly in some little light booth? Of course, it didn't help matters when I glanced down and saw a patch of leg that I had COMPLETELY missed shaving this morning. Seriously. It looked like the leg of a fourth grade boy. All I could do was shake my head, and giggle uncontrollably every time I caught sight of it.

I got a new office area today. It honestly made me a little sad. I'm all by myself now, and it's too quiet! I'm going to try to find my radio in the garage later and take it in tomorrow. I miss my friends!!! (I know I'm a whiny-baby, but geez, give me a minute to wallow...)

Letter to my Muffin

You are fifteen months old today. This afternoon when I pulled in to pick you up after work, I could see your mile-wide toothy smile and your pudgy little arms waving from the end of the street. I could tell you were saying "Mommy! Mommy!" as you ran toward me. You threw your arms around my legs and laughed. You are such a beautiful boy!

We have to watch you constantly when we're out playing in the yard because of your crazy obsession with wheels. When you see a car drive down the street, you start to chase it like a rabid dog. We went to a car dealership the other day to look at getting something with more room for you and all your stuff. (You truly DO have that much stuff). The look you had on your face when you saw all those cars reminded me of the way I felt in the M&M Factory Store in New York, surrounded from floor to ceiling with chocolate. You were pumped! I could see all the car salesman laughing at me as they watched me chase you from one end of the lot to the other.

You love books. (You definitely get that from me, I'm proud to say!) We read about forty of them every night. You love to read Peter Rabbit and Winnie the Pooh stories. You can point out all of the characters when I ask you, and when you get it right, you clap your little hands like you've just won the lottery. I still rock you to sleep every night. That's my favorite time with you. We get Blue Bunny and your blanket, and snuggle up in the rocker. I watch your eyes flutter and finally close. Then you start to snore. (THAT, you get from your father.)

You are learning things so fast! You understand so much that I didn't realize. The other day, I was trying to find your shoes, and I noticed I hadn't heard you for a moment. I went in your room and found you on the floor, grunting as you tried to push your feet into your sneakers.

You are still in your 'picky-eater' phase. We have a revolving menu of Grilled Cheese sandwiches, pizza, chicken nuggets, and applesauce. Anything else that gets remotely close to your mouth is met with a shake of your head and a loud "uh-uh!" Not so much on trying new things. But, I'm sure you'll grow out of it. Maybe.

I'm so excited for warm weather. Your Daddy and I have our eyes on a totally cool Crab Sandbox, which I know we will all have a blast in. I can't wait for all the fun we're going to have!

Thoughts on Spring....

A few of my observations on Spring:
1) Bradford Pear Trees in bloom are really pretty, but they smell like dog doodie.
2) Now that it’s warming up, my car smells like the sippy cup of milk Bebe’ C. spilled last fall.
3) Flooding is not cool. Especially when I have to park in a smaller version of Lake Michigan and I get my pants wet walking into the building.
4) Umbrellas suck. I drove home with my most recent one sticking out of my car because I was so sick of trying to wrestle it inside, I just slammed it in the door.
5) I like to watch the foals playing in the fields on my way home from work. Then, when I think about me thinking about rolling fields and frolicking baby horses, I kind of want to throw up.
6) Short sleeves + my pasty arms = yuck
*Further: Cropped pants + my pasty legs = yuckier
7) I hate tanning beds because I don’t like getting sweaty, but I also hate being pasty. (and before you recommend it, I’m too lazy to slather on Jergens Daily Glow every morning. Plus, it makes my hands smell funny. Basically, I just like to complain about being pale and not really do anything about it.)
8) Copulating birds are really gross. Have you ever seen birds getting it on? Well, then, you can’t judge. We have this crazy pair of robins that are always on our front lawn, and you would think they are trying to populate the world. Ugh.

I've just finished my homework for the evening. It's a Conflict Resolution class. The really grand thing about it is that I work for the school --Several of my coworkers take classes, and a lot of the students know me already. So when the teacher asks us to detail a current work conflict, I have to try to make something up. If I didn't, everyone would know who I was talking about and I would be s-c-r-e-w-e-d. Talk about some water-cooler gossip. Someone would probably put rancid half-and-half in my coffee. So even though I have a thousand current conflicts I could use, I have to spend a crazy amount of time trying to think things up! Grrrrrr. At least I'm done for the night.

The Muffin and I were on the road today. My grandmother is in the hospital recovering from some weird something that I can't think of the name of. The good thing is, she should be able to go home tomorrow, barring all natural disasters. We spent a good deal of the day closed up in her hospital room. The Muffin. Me. Sick people. Tiny room. Need I say more? Honestly, he did surprisingly well, and my Mom was there to shepherd him out into the hallway to chase wheelchairs when he got too crazy. And boy, did he give some of those patients a run for their money! He also made a new friend in the janitor, who let him play briefly with the floor buffer. THAT was a good time... His favorite thing however, was pushing the call button for the nurses. After the 3, 446th time, the voice in the box said, "Awww, is this that sweet baby ag-aaain? Now ya'll just holler if ya need somethin' else..." No joke. We tried to hide the little remote control thing under the pillow, but the Muffin would sneak over in the corner and pull it out. By the time you figured out where he was and went around the bed to get him, he was already furiously clicking away and giggling. The good thing is that all this action tired him out pretty good, and so he slept all the way home. :)

Oh, oh, oOOOOOHHHH, oh! Oh, oh, ooooOOOohh!

For those of you that can't tell, the above musical stylings are from the age-old New Kids on The Block classic, "The Right Stuff". If you didn't know, (and if you truly didn't, scurry out from under that rock now), NKOTB has reunited! Aaaarrooooooh! (That was me howling.) They were on the Today Show yesterday for interviews, and their first live perfomace since '94 is going to be on the same show May 16th! Set your Tivo's my friends -- it's gonna be a banger! Can I just proudly admit that when they dropped the red curtain yesterday to reveal the suprise, (but not really because it was leaked on the Net), guests, my knees got shaky, and my head started spinning. Apparently, you never really do grow up. :) I felt the need to squall, "I love yoooooou Joey!!!!", in my most high-pitched annoying tone. It was be-U-ti-ful! Needless to say, I've already informed the Baby Daddy that I will be throwin' down his VISA when tickets go on sale anywhere within a day's drive, and he is NOT invited. (Even though he proved himself worthy of me last night by singing a lovely smattering of "Please Don't Go Girl"...) Sorry BD, you know I love ya though hon! (and don't even THINK about going on another moose hunt, or whatever the crap you're hunting these days, to pay me back, or I'll return from the concert with a NKOTB tatoo!)

Just another Manic Monday...Oh Wait -- is this Tuesday?

My Deli Selects Microwaveable Mini-sub just left a swath of barbecue sauce destruction down my left boob. Ugh. This is TOTALLY what I get for trying to eat in my cubicle. Today it's ugly and raining. I have a quarter of a tank of gas, and I have nowhere better to be, so I'm lunching solo in my cell. I figured, "Hey, what the heck -- I'll be tired later and won't want to blog...so no time like the present!" So here I am, greasy fingers and all. Oops. A crumb just got lodged between B and N. No wonder IT hates me so much. After I spilled coffee on Keyboard #3, they don't really seem to want to hang out with me anymore.



So the Muffin cried for me when I left him at the babysitter's. (Babysitter = Mother-in-law). It was a small victory for me, even if it was a bit painful. No sooner than "Mommy's going Bye-bye" left my lips, I found a quite stocky 15-month-old attached to my left ankle. "NONONONONOnononono!!!" (This of course accompanied by frenzied head-shaking.) I had a flashback to my first day of Kindergarten, when I myself was locked in this same position with my Mom. It's one of my very first memories. I remember thinking that the classroom smelled funny, not at all like home, and then I had the crazy roller-coaster-bottom-of-my-tummy-falling-out feeling. It was totally uncool. So I tried to empathize with my kiddo. I pried him away from my leg, tossed him in the general direction of the couch, and ran out the door. (Have you called Child Services yet? Are you crazy? I'M KIDDING!) Really, I almost started crying myself, (I'm such a sop), and it took me about ten minutes to convince the Muffin that Granny was going to give him a banana if he stayed. With that, he promptly toddled in the direction of the kitchen to wait patiently beneath the fruit bowl. Ah kids.



Well, the mini-sub has been eaten, and I left my novel in the car (which is parked in the crappy overflow lot across the street because I got here late), so I'm going to go and get it. By the way, I stayed up later than normal last night, (this being around 10:45pm -- gasp -- in order to finish Eleanor Rigby, by Douglas Coupland....I loved it in case you were wondering), and so now I'm sleepy. I may jaunt down to the corner coffee shop and grab a latte to shake things up a bit. Hopefully I'll still be awake in a few hours.