What's the big deer? (Ahem, I mean, DEAL...)

I hate deer season. I hate the fact that my human husband morphs into a below-average-intelligence neanderthal. ME NEEDS KILL BIG BUCK. RAWR! Seriously. I'm totally surprised that my big brown eyeballs haven't popped out of my smart-mouthed little head by now. I've been rolling them THAT much.

Poor BabyDaddy. Well, heck -- poor ME!

BabyDaddy: "I just saw the BIGGEST buck when I was coming out of my tree stand tonight!"

Me: "Maybe you should just sleep in your tree stand. Then you'd never miss him!" I say.

**EYE ROLL**

BD: "Man, those bucks are tearin' the trees to smithereens! You should see the rubs they're leaving!"

Me: "Something else is going to be torn to smithereens soon. I'm thinking about your house key."

**EYE ROLL**

BD: "I think I pulled a muscle in my shoulder because I just packed 893 pounds of corn (that cost just about as much dollars) three miles uphill into the woods to feed the deer so that I can shoot them and hang their dead noggins on my wall! Gosh, it hurts...."

Me: "There's a package of pees in the freezer you moron. Get to it."

**EYE ROLL**

Okay, well, I sort of edited the last one to add some dramatic flair. You understand, yes?

And the man (because it had to have been a man) that invented these blasted wildlife cameras?! He better just hope I never meet him. I've never in my life seen grown men act like such bloody idiots.

The following exchange took place last night. Picture, well, maybe not 'picture' picture, but you know what I mean, BD sitting on the couch in his camo hat, autumn woods printed socks, and tighty whities, (sorry 'bout that, but I'm trying to set the scene here) jumping up and screaming (while doing a disturbing little Riverdance-esque two step) with the lap top as he surfs through the latest offerings from his wildlife camera.

BD: "OHMIGOSHOHMIGOSHOHMIGOSH! Look at the rack on that thing! I've got to call Dad! I've got to call my brother! I've got to call my buddies!"

Me: "I've got to call my therapist," I snort.

**EYE ROLL**