Snow Day? Scratch that - ICE WEEK.

Poor, pitiful, me. What a hard week I've had! Yes, I realize that thousands of other fabulous humans were affected by the winter storms thankyouverymuch. But this is my world, and here, it's all about ME! ME! ME! My suggestion? Empathize, or click on over to a less selfish blog. :)

So our lovely little snow day turned into a "bet-you-didn't-think-it-could-get-this-bad winter smack down. Seriously. Being new at my job, and also being the typical overachiever, I decided that it was perfectly reasonable to try and drag myself into work yesterday. Read me: BIG. MISTAKE. I totally should have turned around when I saw that huge TREE across the interstate. Lucky for me, there was a gap just barely big enough to squeeze the truck through and I pressed on. Here's my daily review, in movie montage form:

The Day After Tomorrow

You remember - where the world freezes over? Just like in the movie, things started out pretty calmly. I congratulated myself on making it to the office over my morning cup of coffee - watching the softly falling snowflakes. CUT TO THE ANTARCTIC BLIZZARD. Please understand that I am not using these terms loosely. It really was that fast, and it really was that bad. This is when I had my official "Oh Crap" moment. Fat lot of good it did me. So, I started planning my escape route with my buddy in the next office over. Her husband drives a wrecker, and he was giving us the play-by-play on the phone as he was driving in to get her.

B: So how are you going home?

Me: The interstate.

B: They just closed it - tractor trailer jackknifed.

Me: Okay, well then the Old Rd.

B: Closed that one too.

Me: The Connector/Bypass?

B: Nope.

Me: Main street out to the other side of town?

B: Nada.

Me: Parkway?

B: Yeah, you're pretty funny...

Me: Oh. Crap.

B: Yup. I was thinking pretty much that same thing myself.

Home is Where the Heart Is

After realizing I was in deep stuff, (tee-hee, quite literally), I went to the safest place I knew. Wal-Mart. I perused the aisles, and completely convinced myself that I needed a new flat iron, another scarf, (can you really have too many?), and decided that I needed to learn how to knit. After spending more money than I should have, I got a box of goldfish and a soda, and sat down on the Pharmacy bench to read. (I almost had to pull a Natalie Portman/Novalee Nation, and write down my purchases IOU style - they lost power for about a half hour, but it finally came back on.)

Saving Private Ryan (or Megan)

So, remember in this movie how the heroes literally go through a war zone to find some silly little nitwit soldier and bring him home? I'm sure you know who the nitwit soldier was. And the man lucky enough to be my heroic savior? Daddy-in-law. After calling him in complete distress, he braved the elements to come find me and drag me back home. God love him, it took him half the day, but he made it, and he lead me home. (That's PoppaG up there by the way - isn't he too wonderful?)

The Langoliers

So we had no power at our house, and since we are an all-electric family, it was about 10 degrees inside in only a few hours. Again, the in-laws came to our rescue, and we spent the night in a warm, cozy house. I went across town before bed to check on the house and pick up the dogs, and I swear, it was totally a scene out of a Steven King movie. It looked like I had stepped into an alternate dimension. The neighborhood was totally black. All the cars were covered with snow. Inside the house, the beam of my flashlight reflected back all our things, just as we had left them, (which translates into about 40 cans of play-doh on the floor, a half-folded laundry basket of clothes, and countless hotwheels, (one of which I tripped over and almost met my Maker because of.) When a creepy Sponge Bob balloon started floating out of the Muffin's room, I grabbed my stuff and was out of there...

At least I had an uneventful rest of the evening. I'm hoping it all melts soon. Or else, I might have to break into musical montages next.....