Whiskey Bent....

So, I've had a completely shoddy day here at the Office. I literally haven't had the time to get a cup of coffee. I noticed that alarming fact round about 11am when my hands started to quiver, and I got a shooting pain behind my left eyeball. Bear in mind that by this point in my day, I'm usually nursing my 3rd cup. So, after the shakes started, it was about time for lunch. I got in my car, turned the key, and the gas light came on. (I love my car, but at that moment, I wanted to give it the finger.) I coast down to the corner Marathon -- after I swiped my debit card, I happened to glance at the price, and I think I threw up a little bit in my mouth. $3.75 PER GALLON!!! I printed out the receipt so I can put it in my scrapbook. $10 got me 2.3 gallons. I had to laugh. If I didn't, I would have burst into hysterical tears. Feeling myself spiral down toward a minor depressive episode, I headed for the nearest McDonald's, where I ordered a double cheeseburger, a huge Sweet Tea, and 3 chocolate chip cookies. **Screw you diet -- I'm doing what I want today** I parked in their lot under some trees to eat and read my book. I started to calm down -- I was putting some crumbs from the hamburger bun on my side mirror and watching the cute little sparrows flit around. "This is nice," I think, slouching back in my seat. "I'm feeling better." At that point, I hear a "SPLISH! GLOOP! SPLAT!" The lovely little birds I had been feeding just shat on my windshield. Next time I'm putting out rat poison, the little buggers. After I shrugged that off, and thought, "Well, at least it's quiet here, and I can enjoy my book -- also succeeding in avoiding my poopy windshield for the moment, a car pulls up beside me. The windows roll down, and then I hear him put in a CD. Country twang explodes from his speakers, and ol' Hank starts to croon:

"Play me some songs about a ramblin' man, put old Jim Beam in my hand. 'Cause you know I still love to get drunk and hear country sounds.. But don't you play 'Your Cheatin' Heart', cause that'll tear me all apart. Then I'll get whiskey bent and
hell bound...."

Then, this freak starts to sing!!!! I AM NOT LYING. I burst into uncontrollable laughter. I'm not sure how the guy heard me over all the racket emanating from his jacked-up truck, but he did, and the look he gave me was not the brightest. I crammed the rest of my cookie in my mouth, and pulled out of the lot, still barking my head off. What a day. :)