Thursday, May 19, 2011

The Sun Goes Up, the Sun Goes Down...


And once you have spawned a couple offspring, this all happens at, like, Mach 10.

I remember lazy afternoons curled up on the couch with my nose stuck in a book while MY mom worried about dinner, laundry, and bills.  {"Hey, Momma, will you bring me a glass of water please?  And have you washed my blue shirt yet?  And, can I borrow the car?"}  I remember lazy mornings when I would stretch, roll over, squint blearily out the teensy dorm window and decide that Philosophy 204 really wasn't THAT important today.  My goodness, who would want to philosophize at 8 AM anyway?  College classes shouldn't be legally permitted to begin until 9am AT. LEAST.  *Snort*  And then there were lazy evenings spent with my {nose in a book} big toe trailing through the grass under the hammock in my new backyard while BabyDaddy – who wasn't the Daddy of any babies yet, he was just a hot hubby back then—would be charring some burgers or hot dogs on the grill. 

Hours crawled by like sleepy little snails. 


Then……..


{BAM!}  Flash Forward…….


My cell phone vibrates and tinkly tunes of the Grey's Anatomy theme song break the silence.  I hit snooze{PleasePleasePlease another five minutes PLEASE.}  *Shuffle Shuffle*Cough *Groan*

I feel a big cold BabyDaddy foot search out my warm ankles and a little cold Mini-Man foot find the warm small of my back. {Yep, we sleep in our little bed like those circus clowns sit in their little car.  Don't hate.}  I'm not very warm anymore…  Then from the peanut gallery {aka the co-sleeper bassinet attached to the bed on my other side}

{Teeny claps from the chubby hands of an alert infant}  *PPPPffffftttt*  Razberries being blown…spit hits my right eye.  I slowly open my left eye to find a fat little sausage finger heading toward my pupil followed quite closely by a gummy, drooly smile.  Her finger hits my tear duct about the same time as her mouth lands on my jaw.  "MMMMMM-BAA!  MMMMM-BAA!"   {Miss Sunshine's kisses.}  I have slobber trails running down my cheeks now.  {If my eyes were open they would be rolling.}  She crawls up to the edge of the bassinet and starts rocking back and forth. 

"Galala, BAA!  PPffft!  OooofooooNa! DA-Da!"  {Translation: "Good morning Mother, delightful day out, isn't it?  Can you be a dear and send Father over here to change my nappy?}    Then she flips around and crawls up to the other side of the co-sleeper and starts pulling things off the nightstand.  Apparently, she considers it a toss-up as to whether my phone, the tv remote, or the framed wedding picture is the tastiest. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me: Your turn.
BabyDaddy:  *Muffled grunt*
Me: It's your turn.
BabyDaddy: No way.  Too slee….*Snore*
Mini-Man: HellOOOO, I'm tryin' to SLEEP here okay?  Use your quiet voice Mommy……you're too loud.  {BabyDaddy rolls over, then Mini-Man.  They both put the covers over their respective heads.}
Sunshine: BabaDadaGA!  {Sausage fingers in my hair now.}
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I whip off the covers  and lean down over the co-sleeper.  Sunshine's monkey arms immediately wrap themselves around my neck.  MMM-BAA!  {Another wet kiss.} 

And I start my day. 

Change/feed/burp Sunshine.  Wash my slobbery face.  Scrub away yesterday's mascara.  Use a generous amount of concealer--blast you under-eye circles!  Put on clothes.  Put Sunshine in high chair to play with her toys.  Uh-oh.  Sunshine has a dark raincloud face and she bangs her hands angrily on her tray.  I put down the hair dryer and pick her up.  MMMM-BAA!  *Wet burp* {Ominous gurgling sounds from Sunshine's tummy.}  *Retch*  Take off clothes.  Put on new clothes.  Pull covers away from BabyDaddy.  Knee BabyDaddy in the small of his back.  Threaten.  Repeatedly threaten.  Get down in BabyDaddy's face and give fierce ultimatums about the next twenty years of his life.  Poke him in the eye.  Oh, yay!  He's up!  Hand over Sunshine.  *Kiss!  Kiss*  Out the door. 

Work all day – and although I love my job, by 4:30pm my brain is squiggly jello.  {Since I have a desk job BabyDaddy says I should be well-rested by the time I return home.  Riiiiight.}  

Start dinner.  Look at the laundry.  Take work clothes off and add to the pile.  Put on my bleached out t-shirt and yoga pants.  Serve dinner.  Look at the laundry again.  Clear away all things stainable, strip Sunshine to her diaper and feed her.  Look at the laundry.  Laugh at the laundry.  Scrape organic green beans out of my hair.  Make faces at the laundry.  Watch Mini-Man's new ninja moves.  Play a round of Xbox.    Bath/Lotion/Jammies/songs/bottle/bed for Sunshine.  Take a deep breath.  Bath/Jammies/Teeth brushing/bedtime story/prayers/bed for Mini-Man.  Yell at BabyDaddy to come inside darn it!  {He slunk out to the garage sometime between green beans and Jammies.}  Kick the laundry.  Fall on the couch.  *GASP* Remove heavily armed action figures from couch.  Collapse again.  Greedily devour as many pages of whatever book I am reading.  Forget the laundry.      

{Tick-Tock, Eleven O'Clock.}    

My head hits the pillow.  And then, before I think it humanly possible – {SURELY it cannot be possible} –Grey's Anatomy.  *Snooze

{REPEAT.}



1 comment:

  1. it gets a bit better as they get older. paul is 5 and anna is 3 so every now and again we have lazy days full of back yard reading. but boy oh boy was is NUTTS when anna was a baby.

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