**Hands over Eyes** I don't see any files, do you??

How can one person have so much to do, and just not care? I know someone who can. ME! That’s exactly where I was today. I have a stack of files about two feet deep on my desk, (I mean literally -- a coworker and I measured. Isn’t that sad?), and an obscene amount of emails left over from vacation that I still haven’t replied to. (I believe my clients were getting a little desperate. One of the gentlemen I’m working with lives in Jordan, and I got an email from him today that said, and I quote,

“Megan – Please to have you contact me ASAP. Please have best day. I appreciate.
Thank you. Hope hear from you most soon.”

I kid you not. That is verbatim. I love the guy to death, but as you can tell, he gets a bit anxious. The more anxious he gets, the worse his English becomes. It can be pretty comical, as you might guess.

I called home today at lunch and the Muffin was finger painting with ketchup. BabyDaddy is HORRIBLE with discipline, and this somehow always ends up biting ME in the arse. Mommy becomes “the dirty witch who won’t let me eat the green crayon”… When BD is babysitting however, all bets are off. Want to run naked through the house all day? Share your popsicle with the dog? (The nasty one that licks his butt all the time no less…) Prefer to spend your time eating toothpaste? Then BabyDaddy is your man!

Playing in the Ocean for the First Time

The Muffin's fave beach activity was jumping the waves with BD!

I JUST don't understand....

Caden LOVED playing in the sand. He had been watching BD making castles, he just couln't get why he couldn't get a castle to come out of that darn thing!

Monday's are the crulest invention.....

I’m back. And none the happier for it, I’ll assure you. We had the most amazing vacation, and I was truly heartbroken last night before returning to work today. Picture – an un-showered me, half a bottle of a southern vineyard’s finest white, and the whole evening on the couch watching Lifetime movies and sniveling. Unattractive and a bit trashy, yes, but perfectly acceptable given the circumstances I think. BabyDaddy pointed out that I looked like a puppy someone had just beat the royal crap out of. (Leave it to him to come up with such a touching analogy.) Thankfully, he had some kind of dead animal to play with in the garage, (which he has turned into his taxidermy Man Cave – complete with neon bar signs and my deep freeze filled with frozen animal parts) so after putting the bebe’ to sleep, I was left to my own devices most of the night. Fine by me. I looked at our vacation pictures and cried, thought about going back to work, cried some more, looked at my little bottle of beach sand I brought home, wiped some snot, etc.etc. Somehow, I pulled myself together enough to form coherent thoughts and made it in to work today. I had 132 emails to answer, 14 phone messages to return, and no end in sight. Thank God Ames rescued me for a late lunch, and the afternoon went by relatively quickly. Tomorrow, I am working late, (which means the day will feel like it lasts 346 hours instead of the normal 8) because the Muffin has a check-up tomorrow – complete with shots. I always hate those visits. I’ll post his 18 month letter soon.

As for our vacation, did I say it was fabulous? Completely, one hundred percent, this-close-to-perfection? I feel okay falling all over myself because I deserve it. Need I remind you about Hurricane Wilma on my Honeymoon? Or the Anniversary visit to New York and me with the world’s nastiest flu? Hmph. Like I said, I deserve it. And, I’m completely grateful for it. The Muffin gave new meaning to the phrase “party like a rock star”. He put me to shame, which is a little alarming, I think. His favorite phrases from the week were “Beasshh (“beach”) Mama! Beash NOW!” and “NO NAP!” So, what did we do? We partied like rock stars! We played, we ate, we swam, we ate again, we walked the Strip, we swam some more, ate some more, and then, usually around 11pm or 11:30pm, we collapsed. And the bebe’ was awake and raring to go through the lot of it. Did I mention I was sick when I went to work this morning? Yeah, I’m still there a little bit. I’m sure it will be a while before I’m back to normal, unfortunately for those who work near me, as I was in a near state of catatonia today. I expect to be only marginally more useful tomorrow.

Beach Read:

(Very Dark, but very Very good.)

Beach Hubby:

(Don't lie -- even though he has a farmer's tan, he's more than a little hot here.)

Beach Bebe':

Best Beach Moment:

We loved walking on the beach at night looking for shells!

Worst Beach Moment:

Not at all happy to come in the room after leaving the beach. (He rolled around crying to "go bye-bye" for a good 10 minutes every time we came in and shut the door for the night.)

Not that I'm boasting...

But, this time tomorrow, I'll have my toes in the sand and the sun on my face, (well, the parts of my face that aren't covered by my EXTREMELY sophisticated wide-brimmed beach hat -- Sorry Ames, I couldn't resist!) :) I hope you all have a lovely week. Cross your fingers that the Muffin will enjoy himself.

See you in 7 days!

Summer Fun

Other than me saying "Woo-hoo!" an obscene amount of times, (BabyDaddy and I counted six I think), it's a cute video!! :)

Weak of heart, turn away. (This means you Mom) TMI to follow...

I am a wanton hussy. Correction -- I am a wanton ANGRY hussy. Last night, I was lusting after my husband, and I got REJECTED. To hear him talk, or rather, whine most of the time– you would think he hardly got any action at all, so imagine my surprise at the following exchange last night:

Me: **Yawn** Well, I’m headed to bed…

BabyDaddy: (Deeply engrossed in Perfect Dark on Xbox 360) Okay.

Me: Ahem. I’M. GOING. TO. THE BEDROOM.

BD: Yeah, okay. G’night. Love you.

Me: All right, well, do you think you’ll be following sometime soon?

BD: Headshot – yes!! Crap, who the heck is sniping me??!! (frantically waving his controller in the air) Oh, sorry babe, what did you say?

Me: **Rolling Eyes** Are you coming to bed any time soon?

BD: Oh, yeah. I’ll be right in.

********
Determined to wait up for him, I take my book with me and read for a good 45 minutes until I finally hear him shut off the TV. He comes in, brushes his teeth, gives me a chaste peck on the forehead, a “love you Meg”, and then promptly turns over on his side. Excuse me??!!! I clear my throat, thrash about a bit, and then give an enormous huff/sigh. Nothing. Not a darn thing. I roll over and cuddle up to his back. Then, the line that I LEAST expected to hear:

BD: Megs, I’m tired.

That’s it?! I’M TIRED?? I’M FREAKING TIRED??!!! I punched him in the shoulder, told him he wasn’t getting any for the rest of the MONTH if I had anything to do with it, and went to the living room to watch Law and Order reruns. Of course this morning, he sheepishly apologized and tried to make amends, to which I said “No Dice”. Let him just try to live this one down. I do not forget easily mister.