Sunday Thanks

I am thankful for an absolutely relaxing, refreshing, darn-near-perfect, and bawl-your-eyes-out-when-it's-time-to-leave vacation. I am thankful for a week away from it all surrounded by family. I'm thankful for morning coffee, good books, and the sound of the ocean roaring in the background. I'm thankful for sunscreen with bug spray. I am thankful for beach bicycle riding, which reminded me that I have muscles in places that I had long forgotten, (they did not shy from making themselves known after the first day of riding--every time I took a step my butt cheeks alternately screamed...) I am thankful for kid-sized grocery carts at the island store. I am thankful for the simple joy that comes with sticking your toes in the sand and wiggling them until they disappear. I am thankful for time spent on the screened in porch with my Mom -- tossing back Starbucks and pouring over the latest magazines. I am thankful for the feeling of a warm, slightly wet toddler crawling up into my lap every day for "hold me time". I am thankful for a husband that, on our 'date' night --thanks Mom -- orders both of the desserts that I couldn't decide between. I am thankful for a nearly painless drive home; I swear I'm going to bring his kid potty the next time we go anywhere. I will NEVER use another truck stop bathroom. (It was hard to explain to the Muffin that you won't get a toy out of a coin condom machine.) I am thankful to be home, although my stomach is already beginning to hurt at the thought of returning to work and reality tomorrow. *Sigh* I am thankful for today.


Some Vacay Highlights:


A Giraffe named "Jenny"
Someone had left behind an inflatable kiddie pool that looked like a giraffe. We had the bright idea to throw it in the big pool and let the Muffin float around in it. An instant bond was formed. I had the great idea to talk in a different voice and pretend that I was "Jenny", with the result that for the remainder of our vacation, I had to talk like a mouse sucking helium every day for a week. Every time we went to the pool, the Muffin would run screaming for Jenny. "Hi 'dere Jenny. I'm back! Did you miss me?" (Insert my rat/helium chirp here -- "Why HI there! Of course I missed you!") We couldn't leave the pool until the Muffin had hugged Jenny, put her back in her special corner for a 'nap', and assured her repeatedly -- sometimes even yelling out his promises all the way across the parking lot -- that he would be back to see her tomorrow and not to be scared. My sweet goodness, I'll never pretend to be another animal as long as I live.




Peeing on the Putting Green
We decided to have a nice dinner at the clubhouse at a nearby golf course. Let me set this up for you. We're talking swank here. MAJOR swank. Like the kind where the waiter has to clear his throat for you to scoot back so he can put your napkin in your lap (I thought he just had a frog in his throat -- he ended up just laying mine on the table next to me). Or where your heart starts beating fast because you're not sure if you're supposed to start with the big fork on the end or the little fork in the middle, and you don't want to look like a back-country bumpkin in front of everyone. (We gave up on that pretty quickly -- once back-country, always back-country I guess....) Apparently -- and according to their doormat -- the PGA was held there a couple of years back and will be held there again in a few more years. Although I'm not a golfer and this really didn't impress me, the ritz factor was decidedly upped for the gentlemen in our party. We're well into dinner when the Muffin informs me that he has to pee. As I'm trying to gather my things up he hops off the patio where we were eating, (right next to the 18th hole), jumps down onto the green, and proceeds to remove his pants. "Mommy--look at me! I'm gonna pee-pee in 'dis gwass! Oohh, it so pretty!" Cue the silence. Seriously. No more clinking silverware, No background chatter. Just red-faced me and my offspring who's trying to take a leak on a bajillion dollar golf green. Nice. Thankfully, I did catch him and scuttle off to the bathroom, where upon relieving himself, he cried for half an hour in protest. "NOOOoo! All my pee-pee is gone! I NEED to pee on 'dat gwass Mamma! Get me more pee-pee!"

Quote of the Week:

"OOOhh, pool, you feel me COLD!" -- Squealed as his stepped into the pool for the first time that day.

At the tide pools -- one of our most favorite places.

Kid-sized carts...pure genius!

The Mat -- told you it was swanky.

This would be right before he jumped down onto the green to pee...

"Jenny"

My baby is trying to write his name! (You can totally tell that's his name right?) At least he's got the 'C' down pat. Yes, that is my bathroom mirror that I discovered him practicing on, and yes, that is my new lip pencil that he was writing with, but really -- isn't all forgiven when your child is writing their name for the first time? (Still, I hope he realizes that lip pencil will be deducted from his allowance...)

The Help

Some of the best books make you uncomfortable. They make your brain stretch. They make your heart stretch. "The Help" was like that for me. Told from the view points of three women, Skeeter, a rich white young lady trying to be the force of change in 1960's Mississippi, and Aibileen and Minny, two black women just trying to survive. The three come together to form an interesting and unforgettable relationship. Read it. :)





Skeeter
At the League Meetings, girls are short, to the point with me when discussing business. I try to convince myself I don't care. I fix myself at my typewriter and don't leave most days. I tell myself, that's what you get when you put thirty-one toilets on the most popular girl's front yard. People tend to treat you a little differently than before.

Aibileen
"How come you're colored, Abilileen?"
Now I've gotten this question a few times from my other white kids. I used to just laugh, but I want to get this right with her. "Cause God made me colored," I say. "And there ain't another reason in the world."
"Miss Taylor says kids that are colored can't go to my school cause they're not smart enough."
I come round the counter then. Lift her chin up and smooth back her funny-looking hair. "You think I'm dumb?"
"No," she whispers hard, like she means it so much. She look sorry she said it.
"What that tell you bout Miss Taylor then?"
She blink, like she listening good.
"Means Miss Taylor ain't right all the time," I say.
She hug me round my neck, say, "You're righter than Miss Taylor." I tear up then. My cup is spilling over. Those is new words to me.

Minny
"Can't sleep. Can't eat," I say.
"I tell you, that Celia must be the worst one you ever had to tend to."
"They all bad. But she the worst of all."
"Ain't they? You remember that time Miss Walter make you pay for the crystal glass you broke? Ten dollars out a your pay? Then you find out them glasses only cost three dollars apiece down at Carter's?"
"Mm-hmm."
"Oh, and you remember that crazy Mister Charlie, who make you eat lunch outside, even in the middle of January? Even when it snowed that time?"
"Make me cold just thinking bout it."
"And what --" Aibileen is chuckling, trying to talk at the same time. "What about that Miss Roberta? Way she make you sit at the kitchen table while she try out her new hair dye solution on you?" Aibileen wipes at her eyes. "Lord, I never seen blue hair on a black woman before or since. Leroy say you look like a cracker from outer space."
"Now, ain't nothing funny bout that. Took me three weeks and twenty-five dollars to get my hair black again."

Sunday Thanks

I am thankful for spray tans -- what's not to love? You walk into the big shiny booth a Pale Patty and walk out 1 minute and 45 seconds later as brown as a biscuit. (And because I paid the extra $5 bucks for the 'Hydrating/Anti-Aging/Skin Firming/Smell good spray which gets sand-blasted on after the tan, I only vaguely smelled like cat pee when I left.) I am thankful for party dresses and catty heels, and an evening out at 'The Ball' with BabyDaddy. I am thankful that even though the DJ left a bit to be desired, (I think that during the entire night, he played one song -- you heard me -- ONE SONG that was produced in the past decade), BD was not 'too cool' to dance to Bette Midler and the Supremes. Who knew you could booty dance to R-E-S-P-E-C-T? Oh yes, yes you can. I am thankful for a day spent in sweatpants with the Muffin. I swear, that kid is a 24-hour comedy channel. I am thankful that this time next week, I will be a beach blogger. Sweet goodness, next weekend cannot get here fast enough. I am thankful for books that take you away to another place, and then drop you back off in reality a little bit changed. (If you're looking for one, I highly recommend "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett.) I am thankful for today.

'keeery Mon-ters

Where are the Wild Things? Why, I have one right here!

"Oooo- Kay now Mama. You watch me...I gonna 'keer you now, 'cause I am da biggest 'keeriest mon-ter. Kay? KAY? Are you 'keered yet Mama?"